I’m getting REALLY fucking tired of you fucking with my feelings.
Richie. Jarred. Tommy. Mitchell. Cody. ALL of you little fucks. Fuck you, fuck him, him, him, him and him too.
Tommy;
Dear Tommy,
The reasons why I miss you keep adding up to more and more everyday. Now that I think about it, I’ve only been in love with one person, and that person is you. I still love you, no doubt about it, and I know things will take awhile to get to semi normal like they used to be, but I’m willing to wait. I’ve never wanted someone so badly before. I love you so much. I miss the way you would hold me whether I was happy, mad, scared or lonely. I miss the way you would make me laugh and I would attempt to make you laugh. I miss the way you called me so many nicknames. Baby, babygirl, Kelli Marie Princess My Everything French, and all of them. ALL of them. I miss the way you used to miss me and love me. I miss having everything I ever wanted in one person. I miss always sneaking around behind our parents back to have sex. I miss talking about marriage and kids and living together and moving out together and going far away. I miss the thought of I was going to marry you one day, and I still feel like I would if I was given the chance. I miss the way we would fight and then it’d be over within 5 minutes. I miss your mom and your family. I miss not having to worry about what I look like around you. I miss always going to your house and you always coming to mine. I miss spending the night with you and watching Disney movies or Pokemon. I miss being that couple that everyone was jealous of. I miss always getting “Good morning, Beautiful” texts from you. I miss missing you when I went somewhere for more than a day. I miss how close we were and it seemed like we only needed each other and no one else. I miss cuddling and playing video games. I miss you making fun of me. I loved being everything you ever wanted and feeling perfect to someone. And I really want you back. I know I messed up and I can’t change the past. I’ve made some terrible decisions and I want to make it up to you. I want everything back. You mean the world to me. I don’t care how much either of us have changed. It’s only been 8 months since we broke up. I’m sure if we tried, we’d be perfect all over again. I don’t care what it takes and I don’t care what anyone says. I love you. Not Billy, not anyone from my new school, no one else. Just you. And I know you’re probably thinking, “Oh, I don’t want to go through this again because of what happened last time,” and I completely understand. But I promise, with every last bit, I will not do that to you again. I will love you the way you deserve. I will treat you with all the respect I can. Yeah, we’ll still fight here and there, but not like we used to. Though we’ve both changed, we’re still so perfect for each other. The only thing we’ve both gotten into is drugs. We both like weed, and we both smoke a lot of it. You’re the most perfect person in so many ways. You stand for what you believe in and you don’t let anyone push you around. You’re someone I look up to in a way and I’d do anything, ANYTHING to get you back. Because you treated me better than anyone I know. And there is nothing I’ve wanted more than I want you. I messed up. But I’m willing to leave it all behind if you are. And I would like to believe, that deep down inside, you feel the way I do. Please, Thomas Henry French, take me back? You won’t read this, but I really am going to go through with doing a big thing in asking you to take me back. Hopefully, you will because you still love me. I really hope you do. Baby, I miss you and I’m ready to come home.
January 5th, 2012.
I hung out with Richie today. I like him, a lot, omg. And my parents bought me driver’s ed. But that’s not the point. Richie and I got on the best topic ever and everything is just good. He’s so amazing. But I have no chance, as always. I’m going to go cry about it. But today was generally a good day. Other than the fact I didn’t pass the permit test. Oh wellll.
January 4th, 2012.
Hi, this is the first of my new blog. I’m also, intimatedissapointment. What happened today? yeah, so this kid tells me he likes me, I kind of like him. The next day, he doesn’t show up to school and has the nerve to text me in the period I have with him telling me he misses his ex. Wtf? I’m lost, you JUST told me you liked me, and now you don’t? Or you do? I have no idea anymore. K, and my dad pissed me off beyond belief. That’s a pointless story though. Another thing? It’s fucking winter, bitches. Put some fucking clothes on. Who in their right mind walks around in 30 degree weather in a skirt. Like FUCK, I’m in a sweatshirt, scarf, jeans, boots, hat, and another coat to stay warm and you’re in a SKIRT. You’re fucking dumb. Oh, one more thing. SLUTS. I’m going to sound like Kingsly, but he’s fucking right. Any gender can be a slut. But a slut is someone who purposely demoralizes a relationship. Like, wtf? Who does that? Are you fucking unhappy enough to destroy a relationship? Someone else’s happiness? You ignorant slut. Fuck you.
